Just to let ya’ll know, that the sole purpose for me to write this thing is out of my sincerity to share an experience from a close friend. I really don't mean to hurt any one in any way. Please forgive me if I did.
I have a friend, let me just call her Thea* not her real name. She's a bubbly girl, full of life and would never hurt a single soul if she could. Here's her story...
A year ago, when she was so anxious and kinda ready to get to know guys, there, this guy appeared in her life. Let's just call him Mr. B. She met him through a mutual friend, and from what I remember, the day he contacted her, via facebook, was the day that completely changed her life. For a year or so. Getting to know this Mr.B was something she truly cherished, as she really was quite unsure how they connected like mad crazy in just a week! They clicked in an instant after chatting together for hours in a couple of weeks. She met other guys too at that stage, but none of them was incomparable with the chemistry she had with Mr.B.
They shared lotsa common interests and found out they hated and loved the same things in life. Their fears and dreams were like frighteningly the same!! He doesn't just finish her sentences, he already knew what she was gonna say and beat her to it! :P He respects her as a girl and for who she is and never judged her and her background at all. He gave her advices and calmed her down when she was in pain. He supported in everything that she did, and was her backbone to every bit of her success that she went through. He would practically come all the way to her house to surprise her (they live very far fyi) sometimes. They wanted to travel to the same places. They daydreamed of such beautiful stories that they themselves created and played along, they planned such amazing things to do together, shared songs that they both were mutually in love of too. Simply put, he was like the earphone to her iPod. Okay that was not a very good comparison. But you get the gist, yeah?
Everything was so unbelievably awe-inspiring. You know those fluttery feeling you get for a person? She gets it every time she's with him be it on the phone, or in person. She loved the way he cared for her, the slanted tone that he makes every time he calls her by her name, the way he was there for her through all of her good and bad times, he made her laugh so much at times she even cried in front of the pc while chatting with him I remember. She looked like a total doofus. Hehe. She questioned herself too, " How can this dude, actually let me let down my guard and gave him all of my trust to, so fast, despite that he wasn’t my type of guy at all and we barely knew each other". You know, when you sometimes have those ‘my-type-of-guy’ list that you hold on to. To her, he definitely wasn’t. He didn’t wear spectacles, he wasn’t spike-y haired, he smoked (that's her biggest NO NO) and he played the most boring sport ever—golf!! :P Love is very blinding you see! She automatically accepted his flaws that she'd normally disapprove of with other guys and figures that it's what inside that counts. And he was undoubtedly beautiful on the inside.
Their friendship bloomed, he asked how her days were, they hung out, he taught her how to handle the dslr, while she taught him how to edit photos (they were crazy about photography and cameras), they exchanged gifts, exchanged CDs of love songs and love stories, they argued and made up the very next day, they constantly shared songs and lyrics, talked on the phone and chatted and skyped for long hours just like any ‘close friend’ would do. He was there for her, and she was there for him. He just inspires her in so many ways, and the connection they had was real I can tell. She was basically the honey and he was the bee. And I was happy for my dear friend cause she seems sooo happy at the moment... But... Not for long though…
She really didn’t know what went wrong. Was it her? Was it him? Was it timing? Was it another person? Or was she the other person? Was she not pretty enough? Many questions went through her mind. But sad to say, the thing she feared the most was that the friendship they had begin to eventually die. She cried herself to sleep at night for weeks because she misses this one particular person so bad, misses the tight friendship they once had, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She tried though. It just didn’t work I guess.
Then came Ramadhan 2011, a perfect month for us Muslims to be closer to Allah, and improve ourselves towards our deen. So, yeah, I can fairly say, sometimes she still cry at nights *note: She's a total crybaby*, I asked her why, she told me only because she was ashamed, for crying over a guy for so many times. Whilst Allah was there for her all this while, she has been nothing but thinking of Mr.B everyday and crying for the guy!! She cried for the friendship that died. She cried for what they could've become but didn't.
She told me, when she performs her solat, she'd made sure there was a dua for Mr. B at the very end of it. This is true I tell ya. She cared so much for this person, that she’d never once stop praying for his well-being in this world and the hereafter. The irony was, the more she’d pray for him, the more clearer Allah showed her, or made her come to a realisation that theres a reason to why their friendship died. He, the Almighty, was actually PROTECTING HER. He was protecting her from doing sinful things (like how most couples nowadays do-I don’t have to mention it here yeah? You guys can understand, right?) Now only she'd realize that everything happens for a reason, and she is very accepting of the fact that Mr. B and her are not close anymore. She doesn't cry for him nor think of him anymore too. That’s a big improvement for her I can say.. This is what I love about Ramadhans. *Pats on her back* She is more than happy in this current state, even though sometimes she told me she worries too about the future of her relationship status. All women do, right? To me, that’s just satan, whispering, to make her feel insecure. It's our relationship with Him, is what we all need to work on.
I know, when the time is right, the right man will sweep her off her feet along with a solemnisation certificate in hand. And at that moment, she will be the happiest girl in the world. Isn’t it amazing what you can do with your partner when everything is halal? Teehee! When it’s haram, everything just feels so wrong and full of guilt, right?
My point here is, to all you single girls, it's okay to be single. Do not fret, but instead, be thankful that Allah actually picked to protect YOU from the petty sins that we might do with boys (Flirt, holding hands etc). Your moment will soon arrive before you know it. =) And to you girls that already are in a relationship, do remember that you are also lucky to be having an another half to whom you wanna share your life with, I just hope you guys will ponder and change the way you and your partner’s way in a relationship. Remember, a blessed relationship begins with a clean plate. Imagine you're about to attend a buffet dinner, and there's this long line of delicious foods that awaits you. But then you go and pick a dirty plate for you to enjoy your entire meal. Yes, you can still eat, but wouldn't the rest of your eating journey then be very bland and urm, uninteresting? Had you chosen the cleaner plate, the buffet journey would be such a pleasing experience you would actually get later on. Gahhh! Me and my comparisons.. I do this a lot, but somehow not sure whether the message gets through or not.. Kikiki...
I actually work with Wardina Safiyyah (a Malaysian celebrity), and getting to know her personally, I really really am amazed at how she is now. Upon getting to know her now-husband, she never ever once held his hand before getting married together. That’s just one example I can tell you. I'm sure there are lots more that we don't know. Look at how blessed and filled with barakah her family is right now. Her eight year old daughter voluntarily wakes up by herself for Subuh prayers everyday!! Ya Allah! :’) When can we all have that..? :')
With this post, I’ve attached a very insightful dua for us all (forgive me international readers, it's in Malay) that I forwarded to Thea too,
Allah yang Maha Pemurah.. terima kasih Engkau telah menciptakan dia dan mempertemukan ku dengannya.
Terima kasih untuk saat-saat yang indah yang boleh kami nikmati bersama,
Terima kasih untuk setiap pertemuan yang boleh kami lalui bersama,
Terima kasih untuk setiap saat-saat yang lalu,
Aku datang bersujud di hadapan-Mu,
Sucikan hatiku Ya Allah, sehingga dapat melaksanakan kehendak dan rencana-Mu dalam hidupku.
Ya Allah, jika aku bukan pemilik tulang rusuknya,
Janganlah biarkan aku merindukan kehadirannya,
Janganlah biarkan aku melabuhkan hatiku di hatinya,
Kikislah pesonanya dari pelupuk mataku dan usirlah dia dari relung hatiku,
Gantikan damba kerinduan dan cinta yang bersemayam di dada ini dengan kasih dari dan pada-Mu yang tulus dan murni.
Tolonglah agar aku dapat mengasihinya sebagai sahabat.
Tetapi jika Kau ciptakan dia untukku, Ya Allah..
Tolonglah satukan hati kami,
Bantulah aku untuk mencintai, mengerti dan menerimanya seutuhnya,
Berikanku kesabaran, ketekunan dan kesungguhan untuk memenangi hatinya.
Urapilah dia agar dia juga mencintai, mengerti dan mahu menerimaku dengan segala kelebihan dan kekuranganku sebagaimana aku telah Engkau ciptakan.
Yakinkanlah dia bahawa aku sungguh-sungguh mencintai dan rela membagi suka dan dukaku dengannya.
Ya Allah yang Maha Pengasih, dengarlah doaku ini.
Lepaskanlah aku dari keraguan ini menurut kasih dan kehendak-Mu
Allah yang Maha Kekal, aku tahu Engkau sentiasa memberikan yang terbaik buatku.
Luka dan keraguan yang aku alami pasti ada hikmahnya.
Pergumulan ini mengajar aku untuk hidup makin dekat pada-Mu, untuk lebih peka terhadap suara-Mu yang membimbing aku menuju terang-Mu.
Ajarlah aku untuk tetap setia dan sabar menanti tibanya waktu yang telah Engkau tentukan.
Jadilah kehendak-Mu dan bukan kehendakku yang jadi dalam setiap bagian hidupku, Ya Allah..
Allah just wants the best for us, all you need to do is trust Him.
Reedited: Please read this and listen to the song if you have the time. It really is empowering! I love every bit of the point the writer has written in that post :D
Till we meet again in my next post, meanwhile, EID MUBARAK to all the Muslims in the world, and forgive me for all of my wrongdoings. Together, we change for the better, insyaAllah =)