February 9, 2016

Dear Shea: Getting Back Up


Dear Shea, I've been reading your blog for several years & you always inspired me with your modest fashion style. But recently, you've inspired me much more.

I used to be a very optimistic, talkative person. I have a blog too at which I shared a lot about my life & dreams. About 2 years ago, I found someone who I thought as the love of my life. He was everything that I ever dreamed of. We were happy together & even planned to get married at the end of this year! But several months ago, as if someone turned off some switch in him - He suddenly changed. Ignored me totally & I felt like the biggest fool ever. I cried nights & days. I was totally devastated. I turned my blog into private mode, deativated my fb, left many whatsapp groups & totally isolated myself from others, mainly because I cannot accept why other people can be so happy when I need to go through this very bad heartbreak.

But somehow, I continued reading your blog & IG. I was curious "how can this girl be so happy all the time" but then I read about your heartbreak story & suddenly I realized that you are what you are because you chose to. You have your struggles & heartbreaks too but you chose to remain positive. I'm so sorry for what I thought of you initially. You're an inspiration & I wish I have such strength too.

THANK YOU, SHEA. You woke me up from my dark, miserable life. I need to gather all the strength because I don't have anything else left. Happy birthday Shea! I wish you all the good things in the world.

I wish, one day I can tell my stories without crying anymore.


Dear Miss A,

Waalaikumsalam.. Thank you so much for writing to me! Your letter brought me to tears cause I Iiterally did not know how my post could've inspired you in one way or another. You see, writing that Mr. Coin Laundry post took guts and in the end, I overcame my fear and just published it. It was not my intention to attract unwanted attention from anyone seeing how I could easily do that. But it's totally because writing gave me a sense of relief, whether or not anybody reads it. I think that's why I'd always love essay-writing homeworks (and exams!) when I was in highschool :p

As similar to how I first started blogging, every time I finish writing a post, I'd feel so fulfilled for doing so and it has provided me with so much comfort that I'm blessed to know that it may have been for some of you too. That is why I finally took a deep breath and just let my words and fingers flow last 3rd February.

And you know what, darling, beneath all these colourful posts, is indeed a real life human being who's life is never perfect to begin with. Every other writer or blogger that you may have come across has their own story, whether or not they're comfortable to share it with the world. As for me, I choose to be genuine and as honest with all of you readers as how I have always been since day one. So, I'd like to thank you for sending in your letter cause I know it must've taken you a lot of courage to do so.

There's a line in Katy Perry's song (yeah, I love to understand lyrics and what it means) called "Unconditionally", it says, "Acceptance is the key, to be truly free". And you know what, this line kinda opened up my eyes too in accepting whatever tests that is decreed upon me. We have our Lord, and we hold on to Him no matter what, right? Therefore no matter what hardship you go through in life, pick yourself back up and accept it just because. You may not see the positive outcome of it now, but you will one day.

Then you'll be truly free.

You have one life to live, and I know it must've hurt you so much, trust me I've been there, but remember that you are not defined by the guy that broke your heart. I learnt that the hard way and it took me 5 friggin long years to finally release myself from this chain. I was this hopeful girl that I made myself believe that one day he'll come knocking on my door the way I'd always imagined it to be.

But a lesson one must learn while growing up is that there are some things in life you can't control. What you can control though, is the decisions you make in your life.

I have high aspirations for myself, I'm sure you do too. So climb back up, be yourself once again and endure the pain like a true hero. You are your own hero, so you do you. Notice how many times I'm saying "you, you, you", right? It's because this is your life, and only you have the power to shape it, with Allah's will of course.

So yes Miss A, I want you to set yourself a perfect date for when you finally can let this all go. I chose mine to fall on my birthday this year and alhamdulillah, I'm doing better each day as of late. I'm not gonna be bitter, and I'm not gonna hold grudges. Most importantly I do not regret for whatever choices I have made in life, and in this case--to love a person. Cause you know what, that's just me. And loving another human being is an admirable trait anybody could ever posses and could ever give. It's his loss that he let this gigantic amount of love I have in store for him go. I didn't lose anything. And so did you.

Now wipe those tears and turn that frown upside down, cause I think you're now ready to tell your story without crying anymore.

Love you. xx
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Sizzling Suzai said...

nice babe as always! go shea go ahhahaha im always a fan lol

Pepper183 said...

This post was really inspiring Shea..I am having my tough time too right now. But, after reading your reply i felt more calm.i hope you will continue to inspire people with your positivity and honesty..take care!